In the ritual that is Philippine life, there is no more daunting test than the Ayala MRT station. Allow me to walk you through the terrible phases of this deadly challenge.
The Test of Endurance
The first part of this challenge is a perilous climb through 3 flights (or what seems to be their equivalent) of stairs. Before you can even buy a ticket, before you can get on a train, you must prove that your body is fit enough to endure the rest of the trials.
The Test of Patience
The second part is consisted of waiting. Waiting in a hot, enclosed space filled with dozens of people who just walked up 3 flights of stairs. This is a two part challenge. The first part is the buying of the ticket, and the second part is the line to get in to the station itself. There are many openings into the station, but of course in the name of safety, participants must cram themselves into only two lines passing through guards whose jobs are to pretend like they're checking something.
The Test of Security
The final and most dastardly test is the test of security, security in your own sexuality. Upon entering the station, you must descend again the height which you climbed only moments ago. Then you see it. Masses of people. But that's not it yet. The test happens when the trains come and the doors open. Suddenly, the mass transforms into a river of bodies; pushing, shoving, squeezing. Bodies against bodies, possibly some unintentional insertions and feel-ups. If you even make it into the train, the situation remains the same. Once you escape, you will have to ask yourself, "how sure am I that I'm still a virgin?".
Good luck.
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